Hadis riwayat Abu Hurairah ra., ia berkata:
Seseorang datang menghadap Rasulullah saw. dan bertanya: Siapakah manusia yang paling berhak untuk aku pergauli dengan baik? Rasulullah saw. menjawab: Ibumu. Dia bertanya lagi: Kemudian siapa? Rasulullah saw. menjawab: Kemudian ibumu. Dia bertanya lagi: Kemudian siapa? Rasulullah saw. menjawab: Kemudian ibumu. Dia bertanya lagi: Kemudian siapa? Rasulullah saw. menjawab lagi: Kemudian ayahmu.
I lost my mom when I was nearly 2 years old and then lost my father at 13. I have always been full of envy of my friends. In my eyes, they have everything even if they are poor. I was poor and without parents. I was beyond poor.
As I grow older I notice that many of the people around me has many relationship issues with their parents. There are many who has even severed all ties with their parents. It still boggles my mind that anyone could even do that to their parents.
In Islam, we place our mothers high up in the hierarchy of respect. Mothers are women who gave birth, care for us and guide us to who we are. Most importantly, the willingness, the hardships, the pain and the sacrifices they made to carry us for 9 months before we are born. These are some of the fundamentals for us as children to unconditionally love and respect them.
Many of us do not understand how to differentiate our Mom - a mother and a Muslim. As a Muslim, children has the responsibility to respect, do good and take care of their Mother. They are in many ways not responsible to what their Mothers are in the eyes of Allah. If a Mother is not following the teachings of Islam, children could give a kind reminder to their Mothers and never give up in helping them to practice the religion. But a child should never abandoned a Mother because of that. The responsibility as a child remains even if the mother is a thief, a drug addict or a prostitute.
The sins of a mother is with Allah not with us.
Many of us have also forgotten our own responsibility when we get married. There are many women who becomes the barrier between their husband and the mother in law. They are either ignorant or purposely keep their husbands from being responsible to their own mother. Women must be aware that 3 top responsibilities of a man is to their Mother. A womens first responsibility is to their husband.
It is sad that many of us choose to severe relationships with our parents and force our husbands to also fall short of their responsibility as a son. It is hard to do because we are individuals first and we have our own habits, behaviours and preferred choices which may not be linked to what our religion teaches. Maybe time will change and we will realize the change we need to make.
Wallahualam.
