Gift of Hopes and Dreams

As another birthday approaches
Memories of birthday gifts flashes by
The green scarf
The huge bouquet of flowers
The perfumes
Branded handbags
Glamorous watches
Beautiful bracelets
Gold earrings
Birthday cakes
Free lunches and dinner
And
The birthday cards

All were given
As the symbol of love & affection
The symbol of thoughtfulness
The symbol of appreciation

As another birthday creep by
I wish the best for those
Who shows me love and affection
Who are always thoughtful
Who constantly display their appreciation

You have made my day through the years
By making me feel I am an honorable person
That I am trustworthy
That I have made a difference in your life

I wish you happiness, more than how you have made me happy
I wish you prosperity, more than what you have given me
I wish you success, more than my success
I wish you new joy
I wish you new experience
I wish you good health
I wish you contentment
I wish you fulfillment of your hopes and dreams
I wish I'll be there to firmly hold your hand
With a big smile on my face
Wishing you another great birthday
Just like you have
On my birthday


Thursday, 29 April, 2010
9:38 PM

Memories of New Brunswick

"Hey, why do you wear a scarf like that?"
"Where are you from anyway?"
"Do people in your country still live on trees?"

When we first reach New Brunswick, we were known as the "4 Malay Girls". I can't even remember my first day. What are vivid in my memories are patches of favorite things. The four of us Ren, Zale, Ana and I really were quite odd. Each with our own antiques.

Our first place was a cold, damp, dark and moldy basement somewhat furnished. The MSD Officer (Malaysian Student Department) sent us. It was freezing cold. He was all bundled up and we were not prepared. I remember the first time I saw the snow outside our first place. I think I have pictures of me in the snow making. I remember having my first snow fight that night. It was the only fun memory of snow, after that it was just too much to bear. New Brunswick in winter is heaven in disguise. It looks white and beautiful but oh so very lethal.

I was the girl in the scarf. I was not the most religious but I am determined to keep my word that I would not compromise the scarf. It has helped me always get back to the right path every time I stray to the forbidden alley. The questions on my scarf made me realized of how unprepared I was. It also woke me up to the fact that I still do not know enough about my own religion. How was I supposed to answer questions on religion when I did not know enough? But I do remember boldly thinking that I know enough…probably hurting some friend's feelings along the way. Sometimes I just get really fed up on the questions, I would just say my hair is falling off and I have cancer. But I did survive the 3 years. People get use to the face and they just remember you as you. Alhamdulillah!

The three years I was there, the most valuable were the experience and the friends found. The most prominent not just in my life but all four of us was Garfield Fisher. He is the guy with the log house and the big fish pond. He has the sweetest smile. I seriously thought he was going to marry one of us! He thought the same! We became too close to each other that we're more family than anything else. Great guy! Till this day! I only wish the best for him. He is happily married to his love, Carmen.
Another great friend is Willy - the person who cheered us up or flirt with us (it never worked, Willy!).
Nawi - our one and only senior from Malaysia, a big shot in Petronas now I think (we miss you, Nawi!)
Fahim Khan - our dear friend, the Pakistani with the most frozen Halal Food… :-)
And of course the guy who stole Ren's heart - Braydon Wong
Cindy Savard - I miss her!

As I wrote this, I wish I could remember more but life goes on, memories are kept, friendship rekindles and lost. I have reconnected with Garfield, Willy and Fahim. Found Zale in the process and looking forward to reconnect with Ren and Ana. Those years in New Brunswick has build my character, taught me valuable lessons on friendship, religion and tolerance; experience the world beyond my kampung life; educate me the value of education and the importance of choosing what is important in my life. New Brunswick helps build my character, attitude and behavior.

Thank you!!

Sunday, 25 April, 2010

9:55 PM





 

Stephen Covey on Choosing Success

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People in Five Minutes or Less

Easy to remember ... 7 Habits for Highly Effective People

Assertiveness vs. Agressiveness

I am still writing on this topic. In the meantime have some fun with this.

According to you

According to you
I am nice
I am a good person
I am a very concern individual

According to you
I am very considerate
I am an incredibly generous person
I am a humble person

According to you
I am perfect in my own little way
I am vulnerable at times
I am responsible and sensible

I am no more in doubts
I am who I am
And whomever others see me as
Taking everything with stride
Briskly going through the day
The best I can
According to "me".


Tuesday, 26 January, 2010
11:52 PM

Lessons from my Grandmother

Wake up early to start a fruitful day

Clean your own underwear

Show respect to the elders
(Even when you hate them beyond hell)

Hang your towel where it will dry well

Cook with heart and soul

Cook great rice, fry a nice egg
You'll never go hungry

Learn to sew
You'll never worry about torn clothes

Learn to cross stitch
You'll never need a shrink

Learn how to wear a batik sarong
To impress your future mother in law

Thanks Mök….

Sunday, 25 April, 2010
6:50 PM

Tolerance - My Self Centered Thoughts

Previously I have a long and somewhat heated discussion on how we perceive other people. We brand everyone; place a mark on their forehead whilst not knowing their background. We decide who they are before even talking to them. We judge them without them knowing it.

I have always believe that we are born firstly as a human being as clean as a white sheet. As we grow, we are brought up as a child of our parents or guardian. As we grow older we understand our gender, our race and our religion. Along the way, we receive inputs on beliefs, ethics and social etiquettes linking to our gender, race and traditions. We also receive teachings of our religion.

As we grow older, we make decisions on our belief. We go through stages of questions, explorations and understanding. Then the awakening stage of who we think we are and who we want to be. Sometimes, for some of us, we get stuck in those stages and become really confuse and unable to get to the final stage. Not good but that's life.

A good example is me. I am who I am being brought up by my family. I was brought up as Malay from the east coast of Malaysia and a Muslim. In between I get confuse between religion and race beliefs. Some are obvious; some has a very thin line in between. I have to work this out as I grow older (I am still working some things out). As I reach the age of socialization, ability to travel, learn other civilization, meeting others from different race, taking courses on world religion, knowing my neighbor better and realizing how small the world is; I start to understand better.

I do believe I am a woman firstly, who happens to be Malay, believe in Islam and lives in Malaysia.
Do not think I can be taken advantage because I am a woman.
Do not brand me privilege because I am Malay.
Do not assume I consent to war because I am Muslim.
Do not assume I "boleh" because I am a Malaysian.

I am really not much different from a lot of people out there but I do believe as we grow and learn through our experience, we learn the art of tolerance, flexibility and value of principles. In short, just try to get along. If you can't, avoidance is a great way to get through life (I can't speak on this because avoidance in itself is an art). The interesting part of life is acknowledging that not all will be willing to understand tolerance, flexibility and avoidance. The survival of the fittest applies in humans as much as in animal. We fight for everything to continue surviving….even placing religion, principles and beliefs on the shelf when required.

This topic of tolerance gets old and stale at times but it has not cease to exist. Racism, discrimination, religion conflicts and the fight to live in peace will forever exist. In the meantime, I'd like to be self centered and wish all of you to not brand me of anything, assume something I am not or think I am picking from your rice bowl. I'd appreciate it a lot. Thanks.


Saturday, 24 April, 2010
11:54 PM

Happy Birthday, Daughter

Daughter,
As you turn 16,
As you yearn braces for your teeth,
As you beg for a better mobile phone,
As you chat about friends and enemies
I had an awakening
I have a daughter
Evolving into an incredible woman
Struggling slowly to become a butterfly
Righteously in front of me.

Daughter,
Our shared experience through the years
Have taught me a valuable lesson
To always voice my thoughts
To write my happiness
To note sadness
To carve memories
To inscribe pride
To chant my wisdom
To engrave my love
To devote to honesty

With hopefulness
I wish you have realizations
In your lifetime
That all is said and done
Solely because I love you.

Happy 16th birthday!
You are the best in my book!
From Your Mom.

23rd March 2010

Remembering Sue...

I stole a stare
at those brown eyes
the straight small nose
the wide smile
perfect imperfect teeth

I listened
to her forgiving voice
careful orchestration of words
tone changes as the story is told
and feelings unfold

I observe
the gestures she made
touches of her hands
convincing me it is alright
and that she will be alright
and that it is really understandable
that I do not remember her

I hugged her with all my heart
Fighting my tears before saying goodbye
Asking for forgiveness
Beating myself up
Wishing I would finally remember her
While she was in my arms
........Nothing..........

And here I am
Still in a haze
with tears streaming down
accepting the truth that I may not recall
those incredible memories with her
accepting the fact that friendship starts here
from this moment onwards...

Insyaallah.....