I Am My Mother's Daughter

She passed away in October 1967. Her name was Rabiah Bt Hussein. She was my mother. I was told I called her Mama.

She was a beautiful woman with a sweet smile. She was active when she was younger and went to Kuala Lumpur to seek adventure and a better life. This was where she met my father, Ahmad Bin Rasol who was then a policeman.

They fell in love, got married and had my little brother and me. She loves crafting, make her own clothes and even handbags. I wish there was more to the story. There is none. All about her childhood, her schooldays, he adult life, her marriage....is buried with my grandmother and my father.

My grandmother does not talk much about her, there's too much sadness and regrets. My father NEVER talks about my mother at all. Underneath the well built body and the policeman courage, he just cannot go into details of his relationship with my mother. This was evident when he passed away on 31st July 1979. My stepmother told us that she will not betray her promise to my father - My father wants to be buried beside my mother and she will honor that promise. At 13, I did not comprehend the importance of that promise and what it represented. My father wants to be near my mother after death, to finally be together with her again.

I would give anything for a chance to know her, to remember her embrace, to remember her voice, to feel her face and to hold her hands. I wish she is here with me when I am sad and has no one to turn to. I hope I have made her proud and fulfill the dreams she has for me. I hope I am a good mother to my children for her. I am my Mother's daughter.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

رَبَّنَا اغْفِرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيَّ وَلِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَوْمَ يَقُومُ الْحِسَابُ

"Rabbanaghfir Lii Wa Li Waalidayya Wa Lil Mu'miniina Yauma Yaquumul-hisaab"

"Ya Tuhan kami, beri ampunlah aku dan kedua ibubapaku dan sekalian orang-orang mukmin pada hari terjadinya hisab (hari kiamat)"
"O our Lord! And forgive me, and my parents, and all the Muslims on the day when the account will be established."
[Ibrahim 14:41]


I love you, Mama.

11th may 2010, 9:00pm