I cannot be in places like bookstores or stationery shops or shops selling stationeries. It is really hard to leave without purchasing anything. Be it a pen, a craft paper, a notebook or even a "555" notebook (buku 3"5"). This is one of the biggest obsessions that I still have till today. I believe strongly it is because there is a deprivation of the above during my younger days. I do not mean it in a negative manner; my family is not well to do. Story books and stationeries are not top of the list. Placing food on the table and clothes on our backs ranks high on the list.
When I started earning my own money, buying story books and stationeries becomes a staple monthly. I read all the books but I have practically no use to some of the stationeries I bought. I just want them because I could not have them when I was younger.
I own fancy pencils and pens, expensive pens, fountain pens, scissors, stickers, letter pads, simple and beautiful expensive envelopes. I purchase cards for all occasions even though there is no one to send it to or even the occasion for it. I purchase notebooks for my Book of Thoughts even though I have a few already. Then the internet shops hit the world and I have my own address stickers. I order name cards for my children and for me even though I already have the company name cards for free.
The obsession grew to colour papers, wrapping papers, art papers and art boxes. When I go for business trip, it just amazes me how much stationery junks I take back with me. Hotels are no exception; be it because I was staying there or having a course there, I will definitely take the pencil and sheets of hotel printed writing paper. I still do.
In the past few years, I have somewhat control my obsession with stationeries. Not books. I still have books that I have not read. Reading is definitely one of the things I would not stop doing but I need to control the “buying” part. It is getting easier as I grow older.
What is your obsession?
Monday, February 22, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
The Pomegranate Tree
My Grandmother loved her pomegranate tree. It is the hardest tree to live at least in my eyes. It takes forever to grow and it takes forever to bear fruit. Only my Grandmother has the patience to give the tender, loving care it constantly requires.
Pomegranate is mentioned in the Al-Quran 3 times and one ayaat reflects that it is the fruit of Syurga.
"In them (both) will be fruits, and date-palms and pomegranates"
( سورة الرحمن , Ar-Rahman, Chapter #55, Verse #68)
My grandmother swears that eating the pomegranate helps in overall health and brings you closer to Syurga. I remember eating them because I have to and as I grow older, learn to love the smell and the taste. Our home had one pomegranate tree and I have never missed eating the fruit during its season.
The pomegranate tree is not there anymore but the memories of that tree is stronger than ever now just like the memories of my grandmother.
Pomegranate is mentioned in the Al-Quran 3 times and one ayaat reflects that it is the fruit of Syurga.
"In them (both) will be fruits, and date-palms and pomegranates"
( سورة الرحمن , Ar-Rahman, Chapter #55, Verse #68)
My grandmother swears that eating the pomegranate helps in overall health and brings you closer to Syurga. I remember eating them because I have to and as I grow older, learn to love the smell and the taste. Our home had one pomegranate tree and I have never missed eating the fruit during its season.
The pomegranate tree is not there anymore but the memories of that tree is stronger than ever now just like the memories of my grandmother.
the surroundings where i grew up....
The Art of "Bersalam"
"Bersalam" is not really shaking hands. It resembles a handshake, but with both hands outstretched and without the grasp. A good explanation is in this particular You Tube video
That explains the simple art of bersalam to foreigners but among the Malays, there are undiscussed or unwritten procedures about bersalam. It never ceases to amaze me how many mistakes I have done from young until even now when it comes to bersalam. It is a simple malay etiquette which could make a difference between you being a person who respect the "adat" or tradition or you do not respect the adat, people around you or the occasion. You are marked for life.
Bersalam in a majlis (ceremony) is very tricky for me. Be it the enggagement, marriage, death... etc. Even more so if the ceremony is in a very small village or malay kampungs. When do you start salam and when do you ever stop? From the point of entering the ceremony home owner, I have succumbed to salam with everyone until I find a place to sit. It can be so tiring and sometimes frustrating as I do not know half or even anyone of them. I know now that that's the whole point, to "eratkan silaturrahim" or strengthen the relationships or "memanjangkan silaturrahim" or start new relationships with the people you meet in these ceremonies.
Another tricky occasion would be in a more controlled environment. If you have people visiting you and they are in a middle of conversation and another family member arrives, he/she are required to give minimum respect by going over to bersalam. I still find this a little funny as I would think interrupting a conversation to extend a salam would be rude. I was wrong.
The simplest of bersalam for me is to make sure you extend the salam when you visit someone and before you leave. No question about it whatsoever.
Why is this topic important? I had taken a lot of lecturing, lost relationships and ridiculed due to my salam etiquette. I do think it is a small matter but as years gone by, I think it is not worth losing freinds and family over it. Deal with it, learn the etiquette and hopefully I would be able to achieve silaturrahim along the way.
What salam incidents have you been gone through before?
That explains the simple art of bersalam to foreigners but among the Malays, there are undiscussed or unwritten procedures about bersalam. It never ceases to amaze me how many mistakes I have done from young until even now when it comes to bersalam. It is a simple malay etiquette which could make a difference between you being a person who respect the "adat" or tradition or you do not respect the adat, people around you or the occasion. You are marked for life.
Bersalam in a majlis (ceremony) is very tricky for me. Be it the enggagement, marriage, death... etc. Even more so if the ceremony is in a very small village or malay kampungs. When do you start salam and when do you ever stop? From the point of entering the ceremony home owner, I have succumbed to salam with everyone until I find a place to sit. It can be so tiring and sometimes frustrating as I do not know half or even anyone of them. I know now that that's the whole point, to "eratkan silaturrahim" or strengthen the relationships or "memanjangkan silaturrahim" or start new relationships with the people you meet in these ceremonies.
Another tricky occasion would be in a more controlled environment. If you have people visiting you and they are in a middle of conversation and another family member arrives, he/she are required to give minimum respect by going over to bersalam. I still find this a little funny as I would think interrupting a conversation to extend a salam would be rude. I was wrong.
The simplest of bersalam for me is to make sure you extend the salam when you visit someone and before you leave. No question about it whatsoever.
Why is this topic important? I had taken a lot of lecturing, lost relationships and ridiculed due to my salam etiquette. I do think it is a small matter but as years gone by, I think it is not worth losing freinds and family over it. Deal with it, learn the etiquette and hopefully I would be able to achieve silaturrahim along the way.
What salam incidents have you been gone through before?
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Honestly, Truthfully
I have been staring at my computer for a good 2 minutes before I realized that the reason why I am not typing is because I was not able to type if it is not the truth or tell everything truthfully. The truth here is referring to my own feelings, opinions and whatever that I could express in words.
I realized that as we grow older, we become more subtle and downplay our true feelings. At least majority of us do that. There are 1001 reasons why we do it - refuse to be in confrontation, refuse to be known as "difficult", refuse to make a fuss or losing the title "the nice person".
In this day and age, there is a lot to think about - how others feel, how it will impact our jobs
/ our career, losing respect etcetera. We have become less opinionated with topics near to our hearts yet we are very colourful towards criticizing prominent characters, politicians, artiste, the goverment etcetera.
So what should I do? Simple, if I am not willing to tell everything truthfully - do not write it.
I realized that as we grow older, we become more subtle and downplay our true feelings. At least majority of us do that. There are 1001 reasons why we do it - refuse to be in confrontation, refuse to be known as "difficult", refuse to make a fuss or losing the title "the nice person".
In this day and age, there is a lot to think about - how others feel, how it will impact our jobs
/ our career, losing respect etcetera. We have become less opinionated with topics near to our hearts yet we are very colourful towards criticizing prominent characters, politicians, artiste, the goverment etcetera.
So what should I do? Simple, if I am not willing to tell everything truthfully - do not write it.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Liberation from Fear
I was quite a loner when I was small at home. I have very limited friends and always owned a book of thoughts. When I left for my studies in Canada, I left behind most of my story books, my book of thoughts and the many scribbles of happiness and sadness of my life. All was gone when I came back. I was angry for a while but finally understood my family's inability to value books, writings and scribblings. They were illiterate and that was good reason enough to not make it into any big deal.
I started a new book of thoughts. I wrote whatever I felt, note down a lot of quotes, poems and stories of inspirations. I never place a discipline to always do it but go with the emotional flow of need. It has worked quite incredibly fine.
I quoted Nelson Mandela's 1994 Inaugural speech in my book of thoughts. I'd like to share this with you.
Liberation from fear is indeed close to many parts of our lives.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us
We ask ourselves:
Who am i to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
Your playing small does not serve the world
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you
We were born to make manifest the glory that is within us
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone
And as we let our own light shine,
We unconciously give other people permission to do the same
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others"
Nelson Mandela
Inaugual Speech, 1994
Powerful indeed....
I started a new book of thoughts. I wrote whatever I felt, note down a lot of quotes, poems and stories of inspirations. I never place a discipline to always do it but go with the emotional flow of need. It has worked quite incredibly fine.
I quoted Nelson Mandela's 1994 Inaugural speech in my book of thoughts. I'd like to share this with you.
Liberation from fear is indeed close to many parts of our lives.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us
We ask ourselves:
Who am i to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
Your playing small does not serve the world
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you
We were born to make manifest the glory that is within us
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone
And as we let our own light shine,
We unconciously give other people permission to do the same
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others"
Nelson Mandela
Inaugual Speech, 1994
Powerful indeed....
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