Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Wyclef Jean...bye bye?
Today the news is about Wyclef Jean not allowed to run for President of Haiti. He has not lived in Haiti for more than 5 years. I think the reason is probably good enough to turn down his request. Principal wise, it is logical that you need someone who knows the country's struggles and pain to actually understand the seriousnes of the country's problems.
Although he is a very popular Haitian, that does not make him fit to do the job. On the other hand, there's only a handful of people in any country who actually has the capability to be a politician. Unless of course you have been brought up and expose to politics....say like Hishamuddin Tun Hussein or Najib Razak. They have a slight advantage based on experience.
Would Wyclef make a good President? He seems serious enough. He's still an OK singer...a President? I yet to visualize him in that position...the only thing i can see is him in that Shakira video...Hips Don't Lie..
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/cb_haiti_elections_jean
Although he is a very popular Haitian, that does not make him fit to do the job. On the other hand, there's only a handful of people in any country who actually has the capability to be a politician. Unless of course you have been brought up and expose to politics....say like Hishamuddin Tun Hussein or Najib Razak. They have a slight advantage based on experience.
Would Wyclef make a good President? He seems serious enough. He's still an OK singer...a President? I yet to visualize him in that position...the only thing i can see is him in that Shakira video...Hips Don't Lie..
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/cb_haiti_elections_jean
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Passionate or Winging it?
I think this is an interesting read:
http://blog.limkitsiang.com/2010/07/19/najib%e2%80%99s-ill-disciplined-leadership/
Why? The way it is written is very entertaining. I cannot help myself but smile. It ends with a big bang – Zee Avi lyrics to the song Kantoi.
I have to watch more ucapan from Najib. As a leader he should always be prepared and work long hours to make sure all the ucapan and the things he says is meaningful. I am a little taken aback that he does not easily form a sentence during his meetings or gatherings. How does a leader gets his message across if he is unable to explain himself clearly? Mind boggling. It boils down to good work ethics, discipline and passion.
Does he have that? I know for sure he has a passion for FB and Twitter….. :-)
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Are you truly happy?
I still do envy other people’s life at times. A bad habit indeed.
In the beginning, there is always a need to convince myself that they also have their own problems, that they have deep and dark secrets, that they are putting up a happy face and that they are not as happy as they seem. This thoughts are to console my own insecurity.
Now I look at my own life and just visualize how wonderful my life is comparing to my own life before. Other people’s life are not my benchmark. I have learned that I cannot be someone else but I can be better than I was before. I have realize that I cannot compare my life with others. The triumph, success and wealth are for us to define and evaluate.
I can be rich yet unhappy….but then what is rich anyway?
I can be successful yet unfulfilled….what is being successful means anyway?
I can be popular yet alone…so what is good being popular anyway?
It has occurred to me that if I could just see my life based on my own life, I’d see things differently. If I keep looking over the fence and see what others have, I would never ever be truly happy.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Berbakti kepada ibu bapa
Hadis riwayat Abu Hurairah ra., ia berkata:
Seseorang datang menghadap Rasulullah saw. dan bertanya: Siapakah manusia yang paling berhak untuk aku pergauli dengan baik? Rasulullah saw. menjawab: Ibumu. Dia bertanya lagi: Kemudian siapa? Rasulullah saw. menjawab: Kemudian ibumu. Dia bertanya lagi: Kemudian siapa? Rasulullah saw. menjawab: Kemudian ibumu. Dia bertanya lagi: Kemudian siapa? Rasulullah saw. menjawab lagi: Kemudian ayahmu.
I lost my mom when I was nearly 2 years old and then lost my father at 13. I have always been full of envy of my friends. In my eyes, they have everything even if they are poor. I was poor and without parents. I was beyond poor.
As I grow older I notice that many of the people around me has many relationship issues with their parents. There are many who has even severed all ties with their parents. It still boggles my mind that anyone could even do that to their parents.
In Islam, we place our mothers high up in the hierarchy of respect. Mothers are women who gave birth, care for us and guide us to who we are. Most importantly, the willingness, the hardships, the pain and the sacrifices they made to carry us for 9 months before we are born. These are some of the fundamentals for us as children to unconditionally love and respect them.
Many of us do not understand how to differentiate our Mom - a mother and a Muslim. As a Muslim, children has the responsibility to respect, do good and take care of their Mother. They are in many ways not responsible to what their Mothers are in the eyes of Allah. If a Mother is not following the teachings of Islam, children could give a kind reminder to their Mothers and never give up in helping them to practice the religion. But a child should never abandoned a Mother because of that. The responsibility as a child remains even if the mother is a thief, a drug addict or a prostitute.
The sins of a mother is with Allah not with us.
Many of us have also forgotten our own responsibility when we get married. There are many women who becomes the barrier between their husband and the mother in law. They are either ignorant or purposely keep their husbands from being responsible to their own mother. Women must be aware that 3 top responsibilities of a man is to their Mother. A womens first responsibility is to their husband.
It is sad that many of us choose to severe relationships with our parents and force our husbands to also fall short of their responsibility as a son. It is hard to do because we are individuals first and we have our own habits, behaviours and preferred choices which may not be linked to what our religion teaches. Maybe time will change and we will realize the change we need to make.
Wallahualam.
Seseorang datang menghadap Rasulullah saw. dan bertanya: Siapakah manusia yang paling berhak untuk aku pergauli dengan baik? Rasulullah saw. menjawab: Ibumu. Dia bertanya lagi: Kemudian siapa? Rasulullah saw. menjawab: Kemudian ibumu. Dia bertanya lagi: Kemudian siapa? Rasulullah saw. menjawab: Kemudian ibumu. Dia bertanya lagi: Kemudian siapa? Rasulullah saw. menjawab lagi: Kemudian ayahmu.
I lost my mom when I was nearly 2 years old and then lost my father at 13. I have always been full of envy of my friends. In my eyes, they have everything even if they are poor. I was poor and without parents. I was beyond poor.
As I grow older I notice that many of the people around me has many relationship issues with their parents. There are many who has even severed all ties with their parents. It still boggles my mind that anyone could even do that to their parents.
In Islam, we place our mothers high up in the hierarchy of respect. Mothers are women who gave birth, care for us and guide us to who we are. Most importantly, the willingness, the hardships, the pain and the sacrifices they made to carry us for 9 months before we are born. These are some of the fundamentals for us as children to unconditionally love and respect them.
Many of us do not understand how to differentiate our Mom - a mother and a Muslim. As a Muslim, children has the responsibility to respect, do good and take care of their Mother. They are in many ways not responsible to what their Mothers are in the eyes of Allah. If a Mother is not following the teachings of Islam, children could give a kind reminder to their Mothers and never give up in helping them to practice the religion. But a child should never abandoned a Mother because of that. The responsibility as a child remains even if the mother is a thief, a drug addict or a prostitute.
The sins of a mother is with Allah not with us.
Many of us have also forgotten our own responsibility when we get married. There are many women who becomes the barrier between their husband and the mother in law. They are either ignorant or purposely keep their husbands from being responsible to their own mother. Women must be aware that 3 top responsibilities of a man is to their Mother. A womens first responsibility is to their husband.
It is sad that many of us choose to severe relationships with our parents and force our husbands to also fall short of their responsibility as a son. It is hard to do because we are individuals first and we have our own habits, behaviours and preferred choices which may not be linked to what our religion teaches. Maybe time will change and we will realize the change we need to make.
Wallahualam.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Tweet from @oprahbooklist
"Unless you try to do something beyond what you have mastered, you will never grow." ~ C.R. Lawton
Sent via BlackBerry from Maxis
Monday, June 14, 2010
Respect
All of us are extremely sensitive when it comes to respect. We could talk about respect all day long. Our dignity and need to be respected is so huge, we use it so widely and at time loose the sight of what it means.
If we were asked to explain respect or define it, we would all be struggling. It is really something we have to understand properly in order to experience the return. Respect can be given immediately based on seniority, title and experience. In order to receive respect that links to admiration, leadership and ability, is not an easy task.
One experience will change the whole perspective of who we are. Action is definitely louder than words. It is sad that so many has failed to recognize this. A relationship with a child can forever be scarred, an employee is forever with negative thoughts, projects failed and money lost.
- to be continued -
Nura, Sent via BlackBerry from Maxis
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
I am thankful .......
I am thankful when it was broadcast that the Malaysians on the Freedom Flotilla are safe. There are some who lost their lives to bring aid to Gaza. My heart goes out to their family, friends and colleagues.
I am sitting here in the comfort of my home in a country which is still safe, have more than enough food for everyone, a stable economy, no war, democratic and peaceful. I do wish I can do something but I cannot. I have responsibilities, family and people to take care of at work. I think my friends would agree that without these obligations in my life, I would be out there on that ship. Even if I am not on that ship, I'd be protesting or be in a crowd of people condemning the Israel actions.
I am thankful for the little change that happens in the world the last few days.
I am thankful that the Egypt has open it's doors.
I am thankful some of the flotilla team is safe in Syria.
I am thankful that Gaza will at least get some help soon.
Oprah did not voice her concern on her Twitter.
Neither did Anderson Cooper.
Unless I miss, neither did Ashton Kutcher.
Obama fails to condemn the actions by Israel.
Kudos to Erma Fatima and Yuna, for at least raising their concerns on Twitter.
Najib did say something though he took the whole day to finally do it.
Again it is not about Muslims, Jews or Christians - It is about humanity...
About another human helping another human in need!
I am sitting here in the comfort of my home in a country which is still safe, have more than enough food for everyone, a stable economy, no war, democratic and peaceful. I do wish I can do something but I cannot. I have responsibilities, family and people to take care of at work. I think my friends would agree that without these obligations in my life, I would be out there on that ship. Even if I am not on that ship, I'd be protesting or be in a crowd of people condemning the Israel actions.
I am thankful for the little change that happens in the world the last few days.
I am thankful that the Egypt has open it's doors.
I am thankful some of the flotilla team is safe in Syria.
I am thankful that Gaza will at least get some help soon.
Oprah did not voice her concern on her Twitter.
Neither did Anderson Cooper.
Unless I miss, neither did Ashton Kutcher.
Obama fails to condemn the actions by Israel.
Kudos to Erma Fatima and Yuna, for at least raising their concerns on Twitter.
Najib did say something though he took the whole day to finally do it.
Again it is not about Muslims, Jews or Christians - It is about humanity...
About another human helping another human in need!
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Life Happiness
Free your heart from hatred - forgive
Free your mind from worries - most never happen
Live simply and appreciate what you have
Give more
Expect less.
Free your mind from worries - most never happen
Live simply and appreciate what you have
Give more
Expect less.
Stephen Covey
Nura, Sent via BlackBerry from Maxis
4 Core Fundamentals of Trust
I have just learned that the 4 core fundamentals of trust is are Integrity, Intent, Capabilities and Result. Integrity and intent makes up the character while capabilities and result demonstrate the competent criteria. It is important to demonstrate both character and competence to receive trust.
I have used integrity in my QA related activity and responsibility all the time. This exposure on trust fundamentals have made me realized that I may have overuse and misunderstood the word. What is Integrity? I have always linked integrity with strict adherence to work ethics that refers to performing the job as per instruction and ensure to achieve the target set successfully. Integrity goes beyond that. It is not just the act of being truthful or honest. The state of integrity is where truthfulness, honesty and respect are evident consistently. Honesty may not be evident at times as it is possible the person do not believe in the matter on hand. Some matters still require implementation because of law, company policy or even customer requirements. The key point of integrity is to consistently do the job as per required all the time. There is no compromise along the way. There are test carry out by some business to look into the integrity of their employees or newly joined employees. These tests usually link more to honesty. Integrity plays an integral part of a person’s character and without this behavior; an employer may need to manage more misconduct and performance problem at work.
Intent is another crucial part of character. It is an act of planning and demonstration of desire to act. The act here refers to various acts – the act to perform an activity effectively, the act of not fulfilling a target and the act to fail any given task. The intent will define the character of the person. The preferred intent is where the person has a positive intent to fulfilling the requirement. Combined intent with integrity, the character of a person shall decide on the first portion of trustworthiness. With a strong positive intent and high integrity, a person shall be more trusted to given tougher responsibility and excel in their career smoothly.
The second part of trust is competent. Competent consists of capabilities and results. Capabilities of an individual vary based on knowledge and training. The higher the capability, the better a person can demonstrate the ability to carry out tasks and targets set for them. Results produced from their day-to-day activity will reflect their performance. Both will contribute towards the competent level of a person.
The above 4 core fundamentals of trust will have to be demonstrated to achieve a workplace which are more trusting, honest, fill with high performers and thrust the team to do better all the time consistently.
I have used integrity in my QA related activity and responsibility all the time. This exposure on trust fundamentals have made me realized that I may have overuse and misunderstood the word. What is Integrity? I have always linked integrity with strict adherence to work ethics that refers to performing the job as per instruction and ensure to achieve the target set successfully. Integrity goes beyond that. It is not just the act of being truthful or honest. The state of integrity is where truthfulness, honesty and respect are evident consistently. Honesty may not be evident at times as it is possible the person do not believe in the matter on hand. Some matters still require implementation because of law, company policy or even customer requirements. The key point of integrity is to consistently do the job as per required all the time. There is no compromise along the way. There are test carry out by some business to look into the integrity of their employees or newly joined employees. These tests usually link more to honesty. Integrity plays an integral part of a person’s character and without this behavior; an employer may need to manage more misconduct and performance problem at work.
Intent is another crucial part of character. It is an act of planning and demonstration of desire to act. The act here refers to various acts – the act to perform an activity effectively, the act of not fulfilling a target and the act to fail any given task. The intent will define the character of the person. The preferred intent is where the person has a positive intent to fulfilling the requirement. Combined intent with integrity, the character of a person shall decide on the first portion of trustworthiness. With a strong positive intent and high integrity, a person shall be more trusted to given tougher responsibility and excel in their career smoothly.
The second part of trust is competent. Competent consists of capabilities and results. Capabilities of an individual vary based on knowledge and training. The higher the capability, the better a person can demonstrate the ability to carry out tasks and targets set for them. Results produced from their day-to-day activity will reflect their performance. Both will contribute towards the competent level of a person.
The above 4 core fundamentals of trust will have to be demonstrated to achieve a workplace which are more trusting, honest, fill with high performers and thrust the team to do better all the time consistently.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Blogging via email
Today I am testing my update from my bb bold.
Today I have a job as an Idol judge. Not really nervous as I am confident I will be a fair judge. I do hope the committee has done their best to prepare so there will be no glitches during the participants performance.
I am worried about their song choices as they are rather old songs. I will do my best to concentrate and judge their performance objectively.
Good luck to the idol participants!
Today I have a job as an Idol judge. Not really nervous as I am confident I will be a fair judge. I do hope the committee has done their best to prepare so there will be no glitches during the participants performance.
I am worried about their song choices as they are rather old songs. I will do my best to concentrate and judge their performance objectively.
Good luck to the idol participants!
Nura, Sent via BlackBerry from Maxis
Friday, May 21, 2010
Self-Realization Before Motivating Others
Last weekend there was a training to learn on how to become a master motivator. By the end of the first day, a realization dawns that there are many things still missing in the way I motivate people.
It is uncomfortable and uneasy to make a self-realization at times. Learning to bow to the fact that we have flaws and challenge ourselves to change is not simple and straightforward. We have to learn to deal with the realization and move on as fast as possible to prevent the need to procrastinate change. Dealing with change takes a lot of mental effort and I find that it does not become easier. The effort differs.
The biggest challenge for me is to be able to change differently when focusing on my job and my personal life. It is easier to change when it comes to people at work. Focus is not extremely personal yet personal enough to make the change smooth and effective. I can think of things clearly, focus on each individual needs effectively and make a realization on what I should do to change to fit these. In my personal life, it gets complicated. It is easier on the immediate family but tougher as it goes beyond. For now, my realization has led me back to the fact that I am not responsible for them directly therefore there is very little need to have a motivated relationship. I may be wrong, for now it shall stay that way.
The few things I have realized about motivating others:
i. Being Honest
To motivate others, honesty is very crucial. Being honest will relate to whatever you believe in when trying to boost the person’s morale. Without this, the words use will not be believable and ridiculed.
ii. Trust
Honesty is part of the act to be trusted. Never ever, make promises you cannot keep and always trust first to be trusted. This will motivate others as they actually see you as someone they could turn to and believe in. The ability to trust others does not come easy for some. This hinders the motivation process. The person must be trusted wholeheartedly to finally get the result you want.
iii. Self-realization
In order to make a difference in another person, a self-realization is important. The change in own self is important to create a believable conversation. Promoting change requires first a change in our self.
iv. Change
A self-realization does not work if there is no action taken. By identifying the flaws and improvements required to change in oneself, it will reflect that change is possible to the person we are going to motivate. Without this personal change, the behavior during motivation session will not be so effective.
In view of the above, there is a lot of mental work and preparation for the motivator in making. In order to be a motivator, the knowledge alone is not enough; to create an environment of motivation, there is a need to become a coach, a leader and a team player.
It is uncomfortable and uneasy to make a self-realization at times. Learning to bow to the fact that we have flaws and challenge ourselves to change is not simple and straightforward. We have to learn to deal with the realization and move on as fast as possible to prevent the need to procrastinate change. Dealing with change takes a lot of mental effort and I find that it does not become easier. The effort differs.
The biggest challenge for me is to be able to change differently when focusing on my job and my personal life. It is easier to change when it comes to people at work. Focus is not extremely personal yet personal enough to make the change smooth and effective. I can think of things clearly, focus on each individual needs effectively and make a realization on what I should do to change to fit these. In my personal life, it gets complicated. It is easier on the immediate family but tougher as it goes beyond. For now, my realization has led me back to the fact that I am not responsible for them directly therefore there is very little need to have a motivated relationship. I may be wrong, for now it shall stay that way.
The few things I have realized about motivating others:
i. Being Honest
To motivate others, honesty is very crucial. Being honest will relate to whatever you believe in when trying to boost the person’s morale. Without this, the words use will not be believable and ridiculed.
ii. Trust
Honesty is part of the act to be trusted. Never ever, make promises you cannot keep and always trust first to be trusted. This will motivate others as they actually see you as someone they could turn to and believe in. The ability to trust others does not come easy for some. This hinders the motivation process. The person must be trusted wholeheartedly to finally get the result you want.
iii. Self-realization
In order to make a difference in another person, a self-realization is important. The change in own self is important to create a believable conversation. Promoting change requires first a change in our self.
iv. Change
A self-realization does not work if there is no action taken. By identifying the flaws and improvements required to change in oneself, it will reflect that change is possible to the person we are going to motivate. Without this personal change, the behavior during motivation session will not be so effective.
In view of the above, there is a lot of mental work and preparation for the motivator in making. In order to be a motivator, the knowledge alone is not enough; to create an environment of motivation, there is a need to become a coach, a leader and a team player.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Friendship
When I was younger
I felt the world is no big deal
I was strong
I was driven
I was determined
I do not need anyone
As I grow older
I experience
Anger
Deception
Dishonesty
Greed
Jealousy
Disgust
Love
Trust
And Friendship
Friendship reminds me of you
A friend who tolerate my immaturity
A friend who was there as I learn humility
A friend who lends her shoulder
When I lost in the battle of love
You were there to lift my spirit
Made me feel I had wings to live my life
Today my friend,
Know that I would lend you my shoulder
Know that I see you as a great Mom
Know that you are loved in so many ways
By your beautiful children
Wonderful husband
Circle of friends
And me.
For my friend Zaleha Daud
Nura
30th April 2010
I felt the world is no big deal
I was strong
I was driven
I was determined
I do not need anyone
As I grow older
I experience
Anger
Deception
Dishonesty
Greed
Jealousy
Disgust
Love
Trust
And Friendship
Friendship reminds me of you
A friend who tolerate my immaturity
A friend who was there as I learn humility
A friend who lends her shoulder
When I lost in the battle of love
You were there to lift my spirit
Made me feel I had wings to live my life
Today my friend,
Know that I would lend you my shoulder
Know that I see you as a great Mom
Know that you are loved in so many ways
By your beautiful children
Wonderful husband
Circle of friends
And me.
For my friend Zaleha Daud
Nura
30th April 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
I Am My Mother's Daughter
She was a beautiful woman with a sweet smile. She was active when she was younger and went to Kuala Lumpur to seek adventure and a better life. This was where she met my father, Ahmad Bin Rasol who was then a policeman.
They fell in love, got married and had my little brother and me. She loves crafting, make her own clothes and even handbags. I wish there was more to the story. There is none. All about her childhood, her schooldays, he adult life, her marriage....is buried with my grandmother and my father.
My grandmother does not talk much about her, there's too much sadness and regrets. My father NEVER talks about my mother at all. Underneath the well built body and the policeman courage, he just cannot go into details of his relationship with my mother. This was evident when he passed away on 31st July 1979. My stepmother told us that she will not betray her promise to my father - My father wants to be buried beside my mother and she will honor that promise. At 13, I did not comprehend the importance of that promise and what it represented. My father wants to be near my mother after death, to finally be together with her again.
I would give anything for a chance to know her, to remember her embrace, to remember her voice, to feel her face and to hold her hands. I wish she is here with me when I am sad and has no one to turn to. I hope I have made her proud and fulfill the dreams she has for me. I hope I am a good mother to my children for her. I am my Mother's daughter.
Bismillahirrahmanirrahim
رَبَّنَا اغْفِرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيَّ وَلِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَوْمَ يَقُومُ الْحِسَابُ
"Rabbanaghfir Lii Wa Li Waalidayya Wa Lil Mu'miniina Yauma Yaquumul-hisaab"
"Ya Tuhan kami, beri ampunlah aku dan kedua ibubapaku dan sekalian orang-orang mukmin pada hari terjadinya hisab (hari kiamat)"
"O our Lord! And forgive me, and my parents, and all the Muslims on the day when the account will be established."
[Ibrahim 14:41]
I love you, Mama.
11th may 2010, 9:00pm
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Sunday, May 2, 2010
New Quote by Me...
Who is the most important person in your life today? Have you done anything at all to make the person happy and feel appreciated? Wake up and smell the air...bau taik ke bau bunga?
- Nura Ahmad -
2nd May 2010
12:25nn
- Nura Ahmad -
2nd May 2010
12:25nn
Friday, April 30, 2010
Gift of Hopes and Dreams
As another birthday approaches
Memories of birthday gifts flashes by
The green scarf
The huge bouquet of flowers
The perfumes
Branded handbags
Glamorous watches
Beautiful bracelets
Gold earrings
Birthday cakes
Free lunches and dinner
And
The birthday cards
All were given
As the symbol of love & affection
The symbol of thoughtfulness
The symbol of appreciation
As another birthday creep by
I wish the best for those
Who shows me love and affection
Who are always thoughtful
Who constantly display their appreciation
You have made my day through the years
By making me feel I am an honorable person
That I am trustworthy
That I have made a difference in your life
I wish you happiness, more than how you have made me happy
I wish you prosperity, more than what you have given me
I wish you success, more than my success
I wish you new joy
I wish you new experience
I wish you good health
I wish you contentment
I wish you fulfillment of your hopes and dreams
I wish I'll be there to firmly hold your hand
With a big smile on my face
Wishing you another great birthday
Just like you have
On my birthday
Thursday, 29 April, 2010
9:38 PM
Memories of New Brunswick
"Hey, why do you wear a scarf like that?"
"Where are you from anyway?"
"Do people in your country still live on trees?"
When we first reach New Brunswick, we were known as the "4 Malay Girls". I can't even remember my first day. What are vivid in my memories are patches of favorite things. The four of us Ren, Zale, Ana and I really were quite odd. Each with our own antiques.
Our first place was a cold, damp, dark and moldy basement somewhat furnished. The MSD Officer (Malaysian Student Department) sent us. It was freezing cold. He was all bundled up and we were not prepared. I remember the first time I saw the snow outside our first place. I think I have pictures of me in the snow making. I remember having my first snow fight that night. It was the only fun memory of snow, after that it was just too much to bear. New Brunswick in winter is heaven in disguise. It looks white and beautiful but oh so very lethal.
I was the girl in the scarf. I was not the most religious but I am determined to keep my word that I would not compromise the scarf. It has helped me always get back to the right path every time I stray to the forbidden alley. The questions on my scarf made me realized of how unprepared I was. It also woke me up to the fact that I still do not know enough about my own religion. How was I supposed to answer questions on religion when I did not know enough? But I do remember boldly thinking that I know enough…probably hurting some friend's feelings along the way. Sometimes I just get really fed up on the questions, I would just say my hair is falling off and I have cancer. But I did survive the 3 years. People get use to the face and they just remember you as you. Alhamdulillah!
The three years I was there, the most valuable were the experience and the friends found. The most prominent not just in my life but all four of us was Garfield Fisher. He is the guy with the log house and the big fish pond. He has the sweetest smile. I seriously thought he was going to marry one of us! He thought the same! We became too close to each other that we're more family than anything else. Great guy! Till this day! I only wish the best for him. He is happily married to his love, Carmen.
Another great friend is Willy - the person who cheered us up or flirt with us (it never worked, Willy!).
Nawi - our one and only senior from Malaysia, a big shot in Petronas now I think (we miss you, Nawi!)
Fahim Khan - our dear friend, the Pakistani with the most frozen Halal Food… :-)
And of course the guy who stole Ren's heart - Braydon Wong
Cindy Savard - I miss her!
As I wrote this, I wish I could remember more but life goes on, memories are kept, friendship rekindles and lost. I have reconnected with Garfield, Willy and Fahim. Found Zale in the process and looking forward to reconnect with Ren and Ana. Those years in New Brunswick has build my character, taught me valuable lessons on friendship, religion and tolerance; experience the world beyond my kampung life; educate me the value of education and the importance of choosing what is important in my life. New Brunswick helps build my character, attitude and behavior.
Thank you!!
Sunday, 25 April, 2010
9:55 PM
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People in Five Minutes or Less
Easy to remember ... 7 Habits for Highly Effective People
Assertiveness vs. Agressiveness
I am still writing on this topic. In the meantime have some fun with this.
Monday, April 26, 2010
According to you
According to you
I am nice
I am a good person
I am a very concern individual
According to you
I am very considerate
I am an incredibly generous person
I am a humble person
According to you
I am perfect in my own little way
I am vulnerable at times
I am responsible and sensible
I am no more in doubts
I am who I am
And whomever others see me as
Taking everything with stride
Briskly going through the day
The best I can
According to "me".
Tuesday, 26 January, 2010
11:52 PM
Lessons from my Grandmother
Wake up early to start a fruitful day
Clean your own underwear
Show respect to the elders
(Even when you hate them beyond hell)
Hang your towel where it will dry well
Cook with heart and soul
Cook great rice, fry a nice egg
You'll never go hungry
Learn to sew
You'll never worry about torn clothes
Learn to cross stitch
You'll never need a shrink
Learn how to wear a batik sarong
To impress your future mother in law
Thanks Mök….
Sunday, 25 April, 2010
6:50 PM
Tolerance - My Self Centered Thoughts
Previously I have a long and somewhat heated discussion on how we perceive other people. We brand everyone; place a mark on their forehead whilst not knowing their background. We decide who they are before even talking to them. We judge them without them knowing it.
I have always believe that we are born firstly as a human being as clean as a white sheet. As we grow, we are brought up as a child of our parents or guardian. As we grow older we understand our gender, our race and our religion. Along the way, we receive inputs on beliefs, ethics and social etiquettes linking to our gender, race and traditions. We also receive teachings of our religion.
As we grow older, we make decisions on our belief. We go through stages of questions, explorations and understanding. Then the awakening stage of who we think we are and who we want to be. Sometimes, for some of us, we get stuck in those stages and become really confuse and unable to get to the final stage. Not good but that's life.
A good example is me. I am who I am being brought up by my family. I was brought up as Malay from the east coast of Malaysia and a Muslim. In between I get confuse between religion and race beliefs. Some are obvious; some has a very thin line in between. I have to work this out as I grow older (I am still working some things out). As I reach the age of socialization, ability to travel, learn other civilization, meeting others from different race, taking courses on world religion, knowing my neighbor better and realizing how small the world is; I start to understand better.
I do believe I am a woman firstly, who happens to be Malay, believe in Islam and lives in Malaysia.
Do not think I can be taken advantage because I am a woman.
Do not brand me privilege because I am Malay.
Do not assume I consent to war because I am Muslim.
Do not assume I "boleh" because I am a Malaysian.
I am really not much different from a lot of people out there but I do believe as we grow and learn through our experience, we learn the art of tolerance, flexibility and value of principles. In short, just try to get along. If you can't, avoidance is a great way to get through life (I can't speak on this because avoidance in itself is an art). The interesting part of life is acknowledging that not all will be willing to understand tolerance, flexibility and avoidance. The survival of the fittest applies in humans as much as in animal. We fight for everything to continue surviving….even placing religion, principles and beliefs on the shelf when required.
This topic of tolerance gets old and stale at times but it has not cease to exist. Racism, discrimination, religion conflicts and the fight to live in peace will forever exist. In the meantime, I'd like to be self centered and wish all of you to not brand me of anything, assume something I am not or think I am picking from your rice bowl. I'd appreciate it a lot. Thanks.
Saturday, 24 April, 2010
11:54 PM
Happy Birthday, Daughter
Daughter,
As you turn 16,
As you yearn braces for your teeth,
As you beg for a better mobile phone,
As you chat about friends and enemies
I had an awakening
I have a daughter
Evolving into an incredible woman
Struggling slowly to become a butterfly
Righteously in front of me.
Daughter,
Our shared experience through the years
Have taught me a valuable lesson
To always voice my thoughts
To write my happiness
To note sadness
To carve memories
To inscribe pride
To chant my wisdom
To engrave my love
To devote to honesty
With hopefulness
I wish you have realizations
In your lifetime
That all is said and done
Solely because I love you.
Happy 16th birthday!
You are the best in my book!
From Your Mom.
23rd March 2010
As you turn 16,
As you yearn braces for your teeth,
As you beg for a better mobile phone,
As you chat about friends and enemies
I had an awakening
I have a daughter
Evolving into an incredible woman
Struggling slowly to become a butterfly
Righteously in front of me.
Daughter,
Our shared experience through the years
Have taught me a valuable lesson
To always voice my thoughts
To write my happiness
To note sadness
To carve memories
To inscribe pride
To chant my wisdom
To engrave my love
To devote to honesty
With hopefulness
I wish you have realizations
In your lifetime
That all is said and done
Solely because I love you.
Happy 16th birthday!
You are the best in my book!
From Your Mom.
23rd March 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Remembering Sue...
I stole a stare
at those brown eyes
the straight small nose
the wide smile
perfect imperfect teeth
I listened
to her forgiving voice
careful orchestration of words
tone changes as the story is told
and feelings unfold
I observe
the gestures she made
touches of her hands
convincing me it is alright
and that she will be alright
and that it is really understandable
that I do not remember her
I hugged her with all my heart
Fighting my tears before saying goodbye
Asking for forgiveness
Beating myself up
Wishing I would finally remember her
While she was in my arms
........Nothing..........
And here I am
Still in a haze
with tears streaming down
accepting the truth that I may not recall
those incredible memories with her
accepting the fact that friendship starts here
from this moment onwards...
Insyaallah.....
at those brown eyes
the straight small nose
the wide smile
perfect imperfect teeth
I listened
to her forgiving voice
careful orchestration of words
tone changes as the story is told
and feelings unfold
I observe
the gestures she made
touches of her hands
convincing me it is alright
and that she will be alright
and that it is really understandable
that I do not remember her
I hugged her with all my heart
Fighting my tears before saying goodbye
Asking for forgiveness
Beating myself up
Wishing I would finally remember her
While she was in my arms
........Nothing..........
And here I am
Still in a haze
with tears streaming down
accepting the truth that I may not recall
those incredible memories with her
accepting the fact that friendship starts here
from this moment onwards...
Insyaallah.....
Monday, February 22, 2010
The World of Stationeries and Books
I cannot be in places like bookstores or stationery shops or shops selling stationeries. It is really hard to leave without purchasing anything. Be it a pen, a craft paper, a notebook or even a "555" notebook (buku 3"5"). This is one of the biggest obsessions that I still have till today. I believe strongly it is because there is a deprivation of the above during my younger days. I do not mean it in a negative manner; my family is not well to do. Story books and stationeries are not top of the list. Placing food on the table and clothes on our backs ranks high on the list.
When I started earning my own money, buying story books and stationeries becomes a staple monthly. I read all the books but I have practically no use to some of the stationeries I bought. I just want them because I could not have them when I was younger.
I own fancy pencils and pens, expensive pens, fountain pens, scissors, stickers, letter pads, simple and beautiful expensive envelopes. I purchase cards for all occasions even though there is no one to send it to or even the occasion for it. I purchase notebooks for my Book of Thoughts even though I have a few already. Then the internet shops hit the world and I have my own address stickers. I order name cards for my children and for me even though I already have the company name cards for free.
The obsession grew to colour papers, wrapping papers, art papers and art boxes. When I go for business trip, it just amazes me how much stationery junks I take back with me. Hotels are no exception; be it because I was staying there or having a course there, I will definitely take the pencil and sheets of hotel printed writing paper. I still do.
In the past few years, I have somewhat control my obsession with stationeries. Not books. I still have books that I have not read. Reading is definitely one of the things I would not stop doing but I need to control the “buying” part. It is getting easier as I grow older.
What is your obsession?
When I started earning my own money, buying story books and stationeries becomes a staple monthly. I read all the books but I have practically no use to some of the stationeries I bought. I just want them because I could not have them when I was younger.
I own fancy pencils and pens, expensive pens, fountain pens, scissors, stickers, letter pads, simple and beautiful expensive envelopes. I purchase cards for all occasions even though there is no one to send it to or even the occasion for it. I purchase notebooks for my Book of Thoughts even though I have a few already. Then the internet shops hit the world and I have my own address stickers. I order name cards for my children and for me even though I already have the company name cards for free.
The obsession grew to colour papers, wrapping papers, art papers and art boxes. When I go for business trip, it just amazes me how much stationery junks I take back with me. Hotels are no exception; be it because I was staying there or having a course there, I will definitely take the pencil and sheets of hotel printed writing paper. I still do.
In the past few years, I have somewhat control my obsession with stationeries. Not books. I still have books that I have not read. Reading is definitely one of the things I would not stop doing but I need to control the “buying” part. It is getting easier as I grow older.
What is your obsession?
Thursday, February 18, 2010
The Pomegranate Tree
My Grandmother loved her pomegranate tree. It is the hardest tree to live at least in my eyes. It takes forever to grow and it takes forever to bear fruit. Only my Grandmother has the patience to give the tender, loving care it constantly requires.
Pomegranate is mentioned in the Al-Quran 3 times and one ayaat reflects that it is the fruit of Syurga.
"In them (both) will be fruits, and date-palms and pomegranates"
( سورة الرحمن , Ar-Rahman, Chapter #55, Verse #68)
My grandmother swears that eating the pomegranate helps in overall health and brings you closer to Syurga. I remember eating them because I have to and as I grow older, learn to love the smell and the taste. Our home had one pomegranate tree and I have never missed eating the fruit during its season.
The pomegranate tree is not there anymore but the memories of that tree is stronger than ever now just like the memories of my grandmother.
Pomegranate is mentioned in the Al-Quran 3 times and one ayaat reflects that it is the fruit of Syurga.
"In them (both) will be fruits, and date-palms and pomegranates"
( سورة الرحمن , Ar-Rahman, Chapter #55, Verse #68)
My grandmother swears that eating the pomegranate helps in overall health and brings you closer to Syurga. I remember eating them because I have to and as I grow older, learn to love the smell and the taste. Our home had one pomegranate tree and I have never missed eating the fruit during its season.
The pomegranate tree is not there anymore but the memories of that tree is stronger than ever now just like the memories of my grandmother.
the surroundings where i grew up....
The Art of "Bersalam"
"Bersalam" is not really shaking hands. It resembles a handshake, but with both hands outstretched and without the grasp. A good explanation is in this particular You Tube video
That explains the simple art of bersalam to foreigners but among the Malays, there are undiscussed or unwritten procedures about bersalam. It never ceases to amaze me how many mistakes I have done from young until even now when it comes to bersalam. It is a simple malay etiquette which could make a difference between you being a person who respect the "adat" or tradition or you do not respect the adat, people around you or the occasion. You are marked for life.
Bersalam in a majlis (ceremony) is very tricky for me. Be it the enggagement, marriage, death... etc. Even more so if the ceremony is in a very small village or malay kampungs. When do you start salam and when do you ever stop? From the point of entering the ceremony home owner, I have succumbed to salam with everyone until I find a place to sit. It can be so tiring and sometimes frustrating as I do not know half or even anyone of them. I know now that that's the whole point, to "eratkan silaturrahim" or strengthen the relationships or "memanjangkan silaturrahim" or start new relationships with the people you meet in these ceremonies.
Another tricky occasion would be in a more controlled environment. If you have people visiting you and they are in a middle of conversation and another family member arrives, he/she are required to give minimum respect by going over to bersalam. I still find this a little funny as I would think interrupting a conversation to extend a salam would be rude. I was wrong.
The simplest of bersalam for me is to make sure you extend the salam when you visit someone and before you leave. No question about it whatsoever.
Why is this topic important? I had taken a lot of lecturing, lost relationships and ridiculed due to my salam etiquette. I do think it is a small matter but as years gone by, I think it is not worth losing freinds and family over it. Deal with it, learn the etiquette and hopefully I would be able to achieve silaturrahim along the way.
What salam incidents have you been gone through before?
That explains the simple art of bersalam to foreigners but among the Malays, there are undiscussed or unwritten procedures about bersalam. It never ceases to amaze me how many mistakes I have done from young until even now when it comes to bersalam. It is a simple malay etiquette which could make a difference between you being a person who respect the "adat" or tradition or you do not respect the adat, people around you or the occasion. You are marked for life.
Bersalam in a majlis (ceremony) is very tricky for me. Be it the enggagement, marriage, death... etc. Even more so if the ceremony is in a very small village or malay kampungs. When do you start salam and when do you ever stop? From the point of entering the ceremony home owner, I have succumbed to salam with everyone until I find a place to sit. It can be so tiring and sometimes frustrating as I do not know half or even anyone of them. I know now that that's the whole point, to "eratkan silaturrahim" or strengthen the relationships or "memanjangkan silaturrahim" or start new relationships with the people you meet in these ceremonies.
Another tricky occasion would be in a more controlled environment. If you have people visiting you and they are in a middle of conversation and another family member arrives, he/she are required to give minimum respect by going over to bersalam. I still find this a little funny as I would think interrupting a conversation to extend a salam would be rude. I was wrong.
The simplest of bersalam for me is to make sure you extend the salam when you visit someone and before you leave. No question about it whatsoever.
Why is this topic important? I had taken a lot of lecturing, lost relationships and ridiculed due to my salam etiquette. I do think it is a small matter but as years gone by, I think it is not worth losing freinds and family over it. Deal with it, learn the etiquette and hopefully I would be able to achieve silaturrahim along the way.
What salam incidents have you been gone through before?
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Honestly, Truthfully
I have been staring at my computer for a good 2 minutes before I realized that the reason why I am not typing is because I was not able to type if it is not the truth or tell everything truthfully. The truth here is referring to my own feelings, opinions and whatever that I could express in words.
I realized that as we grow older, we become more subtle and downplay our true feelings. At least majority of us do that. There are 1001 reasons why we do it - refuse to be in confrontation, refuse to be known as "difficult", refuse to make a fuss or losing the title "the nice person".
In this day and age, there is a lot to think about - how others feel, how it will impact our jobs
/ our career, losing respect etcetera. We have become less opinionated with topics near to our hearts yet we are very colourful towards criticizing prominent characters, politicians, artiste, the goverment etcetera.
So what should I do? Simple, if I am not willing to tell everything truthfully - do not write it.
I realized that as we grow older, we become more subtle and downplay our true feelings. At least majority of us do that. There are 1001 reasons why we do it - refuse to be in confrontation, refuse to be known as "difficult", refuse to make a fuss or losing the title "the nice person".
In this day and age, there is a lot to think about - how others feel, how it will impact our jobs
/ our career, losing respect etcetera. We have become less opinionated with topics near to our hearts yet we are very colourful towards criticizing prominent characters, politicians, artiste, the goverment etcetera.
So what should I do? Simple, if I am not willing to tell everything truthfully - do not write it.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Liberation from Fear
I was quite a loner when I was small at home. I have very limited friends and always owned a book of thoughts. When I left for my studies in Canada, I left behind most of my story books, my book of thoughts and the many scribbles of happiness and sadness of my life. All was gone when I came back. I was angry for a while but finally understood my family's inability to value books, writings and scribblings. They were illiterate and that was good reason enough to not make it into any big deal.
I started a new book of thoughts. I wrote whatever I felt, note down a lot of quotes, poems and stories of inspirations. I never place a discipline to always do it but go with the emotional flow of need. It has worked quite incredibly fine.
I quoted Nelson Mandela's 1994 Inaugural speech in my book of thoughts. I'd like to share this with you.
Liberation from fear is indeed close to many parts of our lives.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us
We ask ourselves:
Who am i to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
Your playing small does not serve the world
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you
We were born to make manifest the glory that is within us
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone
And as we let our own light shine,
We unconciously give other people permission to do the same
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others"
Nelson Mandela
Inaugual Speech, 1994
Powerful indeed....
I started a new book of thoughts. I wrote whatever I felt, note down a lot of quotes, poems and stories of inspirations. I never place a discipline to always do it but go with the emotional flow of need. It has worked quite incredibly fine.
I quoted Nelson Mandela's 1994 Inaugural speech in my book of thoughts. I'd like to share this with you.
Liberation from fear is indeed close to many parts of our lives.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us
We ask ourselves:
Who am i to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
Your playing small does not serve the world
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you
We were born to make manifest the glory that is within us
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone
And as we let our own light shine,
We unconciously give other people permission to do the same
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others"
Nelson Mandela
Inaugual Speech, 1994
Powerful indeed....
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Your Love
Your Love
I am grateful
that Allah has given me
the gift of your love
You have shown me
your respect
your kindness
your honesty
I have learn to accept you
as you are
I have learn to respect you
for your principles
I have learn to love you
for the love you have given me
For my husband, 4th October 2005
I am grateful
that Allah has given me
the gift of your love
You have shown me
your respect
your kindness
your honesty
I have learn to accept you
as you are
I have learn to respect you
for your principles
I have learn to love you
for the love you have given me
For my husband, 4th October 2005
Help Me Find Her
Help Me Find Her
My baby, where is my baby?
someone, please help me
I lost her when the wave came
the second wave
She was wearing a red dress
a pink ribbon on her hair
she had on her red slippers
and a homemade red beads bracelet
She was going to town with me
such a beautiful morning
she wants to wear her best dress
in case she meets her friends
I have to find her
Help me find her
Maybe she's near
Maybe she's resting
Maybe.....
Tsunami, 26th December 2004
My baby, where is my baby?
someone, please help me
I lost her when the wave came
the second wave
She was wearing a red dress
a pink ribbon on her hair
she had on her red slippers
and a homemade red beads bracelet
She was going to town with me
such a beautiful morning
she wants to wear her best dress
in case she meets her friends
I have to find her
Help me find her
Maybe she's near
Maybe she's resting
Maybe.....
Tsunami, 26th December 2004
Through This Broken Glass
Through This Broken Glass
Looking through this broken glass
I saw a broken me
A spirit lost
A soul sad
A woman beaten
Looking through this broken glass
I saw an empty future
With shattered dreams
Wilted hopes
Looking through this glass
I search for a glitter
A little shimmer of love
To lift me up
And reach
Happiness
September 27th, 2005
Looking through this broken glass
I saw a broken me
A spirit lost
A soul sad
A woman beaten
Looking through this broken glass
I saw an empty future
With shattered dreams
Wilted hopes
Looking through this glass
I search for a glitter
A little shimmer of love
To lift me up
And reach
Happiness
September 27th, 2005
Moments With My Son
Moments With My Son
When I look at you, my son
I see your father
I see your grandfather
I see a little boy
trying to impress everyone
Mostly though,
I see, a loving son
who still kisses me at bedtime
kiss my hand before going to school
hugs me for no reason
tricked me to still sleep in my bed
These moments I'll cherish
Soon you'll be too old for everything
Soon you'll lead the life you want
And I'll be left with those moments
those kisses, hugs and togetherness
Moments with my son
September 26th, 2005
When I look at you, my son
I see your father
I see your grandfather
I see a little boy
trying to impress everyone
Mostly though,
I see, a loving son
who still kisses me at bedtime
kiss my hand before going to school
hugs me for no reason
tricked me to still sleep in my bed
These moments I'll cherish
Soon you'll be too old for everything
Soon you'll lead the life you want
And I'll be left with those moments
those kisses, hugs and togetherness
Moments with my son
September 26th, 2005
Nur Bonda
Nur Bonda
Bonda,
Ku pasti kau melihatku kini
Kau menangisiku
Kurangnya imanku
Lemahnya semangatku
Dalamnya kemurunganku
Bonda,
Kau pasti memerhati dengan pilu
Tikar sembahyang yang tergantung
Telekung yang dilipat cantik
Namun tak kedengaran bacaan kalimah Al-Quran
Tiada doa buat mu
Bonda,
Kuharap hari ini berbeza
Ku ingin bertatih menjalani hidup ini
Ku ingin meminjam semangatmu
Keimananmu
Kegembiraanmu
Keikhlasan hatimu
Sebagai permulaan hidupku
Semuga kusendiri
Akan ketemu Nur itu
Yang akan membanggakan mu
27th September, 2005
Bonda,
Ku pasti kau melihatku kini
Kau menangisiku
Kurangnya imanku
Lemahnya semangatku
Dalamnya kemurunganku
Bonda,
Kau pasti memerhati dengan pilu
Tikar sembahyang yang tergantung
Telekung yang dilipat cantik
Namun tak kedengaran bacaan kalimah Al-Quran
Tiada doa buat mu
Bonda,
Kuharap hari ini berbeza
Ku ingin bertatih menjalani hidup ini
Ku ingin meminjam semangatmu
Keimananmu
Kegembiraanmu
Keikhlasan hatimu
Sebagai permulaan hidupku
Semuga kusendiri
Akan ketemu Nur itu
Yang akan membanggakan mu
27th September, 2005
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
The Hippie Fashion and "Nan"
When I was in primary school, my Uncle had a constant squabble nightly with my Grandma, Mmok as I call her. I would be in my room and cheekily peeking through the door keyhole to listen more. It was like a recording night after night;
"Bakpe paka baju gitu? Baju Mmok tu."
"Tõk malu sungguh."
"Mu nak gi duane paka gitu?"
"Buat mende?"
My Uncle would continue whatever he was doing without any reply whatsoever.
It was the 1970's and the fashion was hippie. My Uncle and his friends somehow rather had figured out the cheapest way to be hip. I could not understand it then but years after, it was crystal clear. Hippies then wore clothes somewhat like a kurta for men...
My Uncle, in his glory to be hip, had continuously wore my Mmok's baju kurung nightly to get together with his friends. It was hilarious to see him in a baju kurung but it was as close and as cheap as he could get to looking "hip"!! AND that was the closest he got to be a hippie….a true fashion hippie, definitely not a hippie at heart…no drugs, no girls!
How I wish I could put up the picture of him in the baju kurung with his friends here. It was the epitome of fashion as far as I was concerned! I'd have to chat with him about that when I see him next time.
My Uncle is a man to be admired. He is not that much older than me. I call him by his first name and never did feel he is my Uncle. Deep in my heart, he - "Nan" is my brother. He loves my Mmok unconditionally. Mmok was a complicated woman with very turbulent swings of emotions attached to every sentence. My Uncle is the complete opposite. Quiet, respectful, serious, honest to the bone, patient and the kindest person I know. A simple straight forward man who places his family first. He has many love in his life - his love for soccer, his passion for singing, his love for cats, his undying commitment to his work and the obsession for a perfectly ironed shirt.
I love my Uncle, my big brother in disguise. May he be blessed by Allah with a wonderful family, good health and a permanent place in Syurga. Insyaallah…..
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Mu Nak Gi Duane?
This note was originally written in facebook on Thursday, December 31, 2009 at 2:14am
In the book "Growing Up In Trengganu", Awang Goneng wrote this "Mu nak gi duane?". That brought me so far back in time. This is the question my grandmother always asked whenever I ask permission to go out or when she thinks I'm sneaking out.
Simply translated - Where are you going? I cannot believe that a simple sentence could bring so many memories. I am reading the last few topics of Awang Goneng book and it simply is incredible to dig deep in my long term memory bank and recall happy and sad memories from this one sentence.
My grandmother is a stern woman - garang sungguh. She'll be standing by the kitchen door with her hands on the hips shouting that dreadful question. I'm usually going off to the shop or to Lily's house or to Aizan's house. All plans halted and if I decide to make a step and go anyway, all hell will break lose!
I do not remember very clearly the day I receive news that I was picked to study overseas. I only remember pure happiness to finally be out of the house. And now that I read this sentence in the book, the memory has slightly deepened. My grandma was asking the same question in a different tone this time. I would say she was probably sad that I am happy to leave. I remember now the blessing was really not fully given but the love took over and she let me go with a very heavy heart. I remember telling her that I will have to do well for a year then they will decide which university and which country to go to. She ddi not send me off. My Aunt Ayong did.
Mu nak gi duane lepah ni?
I'd hope to meet her later in Jannah. Insyaallah....
In the book "Growing Up In Trengganu", Awang Goneng wrote this "Mu nak gi duane?". That brought me so far back in time. This is the question my grandmother always asked whenever I ask permission to go out or when she thinks I'm sneaking out.
Simply translated - Where are you going? I cannot believe that a simple sentence could bring so many memories. I am reading the last few topics of Awang Goneng book and it simply is incredible to dig deep in my long term memory bank and recall happy and sad memories from this one sentence.
My grandmother is a stern woman - garang sungguh. She'll be standing by the kitchen door with her hands on the hips shouting that dreadful question. I'm usually going off to the shop or to Lily's house or to Aizan's house. All plans halted and if I decide to make a step and go anyway, all hell will break lose!
I do not remember very clearly the day I receive news that I was picked to study overseas. I only remember pure happiness to finally be out of the house. And now that I read this sentence in the book, the memory has slightly deepened. My grandma was asking the same question in a different tone this time. I would say she was probably sad that I am happy to leave. I remember now the blessing was really not fully given but the love took over and she let me go with a very heavy heart. I remember telling her that I will have to do well for a year then they will decide which university and which country to go to. She ddi not send me off. My Aunt Ayong did.
Mu nak gi duane lepah ni?
I'd hope to meet her later in Jannah. Insyaallah....
Benteng
This note was originally written in Facebook on Friday, December 18, 2009 at 1:24am
Benteng is still there. It is still referred as “Benteng” by the faithful Kuantan folks, although it is now known as Taman Esplanade. Upgraded with a passageway for nightwalks, there are river rides, new restaurants and food court. The keropok lekor, dry keropok, kerepeks, sagun, belacan, ikan kering stalls are still there. More organized, cleaner and modern. It’s beautiful, the river is definitely cleaner, and the food varies, the washroom cleaner.
Wonder if Lily Mom’s food place is still there....I miss her teh-o-beng......
I remember Benteng very well. I had great memories there. Especially with Lily. Lily and her family has a small restaurant there. I love that place. I cannot recall how it looks like before but I remember Lily’s food place was among the first few. Was it number 1, my memory is failing me.
Benteng has a great atmosphere. It is located just beside the Kuantan Bus Station, facing the Kuantan River. I remember the smell of freshly fried keropok lekor and fried bananas. I’d go to Lili’s food shop with my brother or friends. Sometimes just eating, sometimes helping to peel onions (I was incredibly useless at it), and sometimes taking orders. I’d screw up the orders all the time as I was unsure whether Teh-o-beng means with or without ice. I was pathetic. Unlike Lily who matures way before her age and “kitchen” is her first language.
Benteng is still there. It is still referred as “Benteng” by the faithful Kuantan folks, although it is now known as Taman Esplanade. Upgraded with a passageway for nightwalks, there are river rides, new restaurants and food court. The keropok lekor, dry keropok, kerepeks, sagun, belacan, ikan kering stalls are still there. More organized, cleaner and modern. It’s beautiful, the river is definitely cleaner, and the food varies, the washroom cleaner.
Wonder if Lily Mom’s food place is still there....I miss her teh-o-beng......
Memories of Tengkujuh in Kuantan
This note was originally written in Facebook on Tuesday, December 15, 2009 at 12:14am
December is definitely THE worst month of the year when I was young. It means endless days with nothing to do and nowhere to go. It rains endlessly and I am always glad I live on the hill, Bukit Sekilau. Remote chance of a flood happening.
There was nothing much one can do when tengkujuh comes. I remember sitting in my room, reading my book, looking out the slightly opened wooden window. It may be incredibly boring for some, listening to the sound of the rain on the asbestos roof, but it was music to my ears. I did not think I would miss it but I did, especially when spring came in New Brunswick. We definitely have better rain here.
Food was scarce during tengkujuh. Lunch was ikan singgang and budu, pucuk ubi rebus and sambal belacan, fried ikan masin and daily crispy fried ikan tamban. Ikan tamban is like the staple in my house. Fried fresh kampung eggs for breakfast with nasi goreng, definitely lots of ubi kayu rebus for tea with kelapa parut and my favourite gula nissang (gula melaka), sometimes if I am lucky there's chek mek molek too. I remember when I was in Kemaman, my cousin sisters would take me (the town girl) to the back of their house to collect paku-pakis for lunch even though it is drizzling. I would pretend to be as tough as them going into the unknown bushes.
The rain is rather strange in the east coast. No matter how long you are playing in the rain, you'll never get sick. No sniffles, no flu, no fever. My grandmother would allow us to play in the rain all the time, as long as it is within her view. I would be running and jumping in water puddles, splashing water and sand to my brother. Our house has more sand than the normal soil. When my children were younger, I let them play in the rain for the first time. It was incredible to see them playing in the rain for the first time. And they did not get sick at all!
There was one year; I was in Kemaman for a short stay with my cousin sisters. The rain was so heavy; Kemaman was under a few feet of water. It was my first experience with flood. Getting evacuated, had to walk in the flood until the main road and transferred on a small boat (sampan). My grandaunts and granduncles had to stay and make sure everything in the house is safe. I remember they have these beams going across the alang in the house. I remember chairs and TVs, books and other valuables there. The house is still there, my cousin sister stays in the house but it is nicer and modern now.
When I am back in Kuantan, the rain does smell the same...the sound no more. We have new roof, new glass windows. I miss the wooden windows with small cracks in between. I miss the cotton homemade curtains that flew furiously when the windows are open on a rainy day. I miss my grandmother who always tells me I can play in the rain. I am here now and the rain will create new memories for my children...the sound, the smell and the wind that comes with the rain.
December is definitely THE worst month of the year when I was young. It means endless days with nothing to do and nowhere to go. It rains endlessly and I am always glad I live on the hill, Bukit Sekilau. Remote chance of a flood happening.
There was nothing much one can do when tengkujuh comes. I remember sitting in my room, reading my book, looking out the slightly opened wooden window. It may be incredibly boring for some, listening to the sound of the rain on the asbestos roof, but it was music to my ears. I did not think I would miss it but I did, especially when spring came in New Brunswick. We definitely have better rain here.
Food was scarce during tengkujuh. Lunch was ikan singgang and budu, pucuk ubi rebus and sambal belacan, fried ikan masin and daily crispy fried ikan tamban. Ikan tamban is like the staple in my house. Fried fresh kampung eggs for breakfast with nasi goreng, definitely lots of ubi kayu rebus for tea with kelapa parut and my favourite gula nissang (gula melaka), sometimes if I am lucky there's chek mek molek too. I remember when I was in Kemaman, my cousin sisters would take me (the town girl) to the back of their house to collect paku-pakis for lunch even though it is drizzling. I would pretend to be as tough as them going into the unknown bushes.
The rain is rather strange in the east coast. No matter how long you are playing in the rain, you'll never get sick. No sniffles, no flu, no fever. My grandmother would allow us to play in the rain all the time, as long as it is within her view. I would be running and jumping in water puddles, splashing water and sand to my brother. Our house has more sand than the normal soil. When my children were younger, I let them play in the rain for the first time. It was incredible to see them playing in the rain for the first time. And they did not get sick at all!
There was one year; I was in Kemaman for a short stay with my cousin sisters. The rain was so heavy; Kemaman was under a few feet of water. It was my first experience with flood. Getting evacuated, had to walk in the flood until the main road and transferred on a small boat (sampan). My grandaunts and granduncles had to stay and make sure everything in the house is safe. I remember they have these beams going across the alang in the house. I remember chairs and TVs, books and other valuables there. The house is still there, my cousin sister stays in the house but it is nicer and modern now.
When I am back in Kuantan, the rain does smell the same...the sound no more. We have new roof, new glass windows. I miss the wooden windows with small cracks in between. I miss the cotton homemade curtains that flew furiously when the windows are open on a rainy day. I miss my grandmother who always tells me I can play in the rain. I am here now and the rain will create new memories for my children...the sound, the smell and the wind that comes with the rain.
I was searching for some rain pictures in Kuantan and found this which was really interesting - rain in Pantai Teluk Cempedak
Monday, January 25, 2010
Akok
This note was originally written in Facebook Thursday, December 3, 2009 at 9:56pm
I actually stopped reading when the first "akok" (kuih akok - sweet dessert) word was used. My grandma sells akok in my neighborhood in Bukit Sekilau. I hate helping her....slaving over the burning of coconut husks, tears running on my cheeks, secretly planning a get away when I get older as I blew the flickers of fire on the husks. I pretended to hate akok in my teens.
As a matter of fact ... I like akok. I love kuih bakar, telur itik, jala emas.... Arwah Mmok was like an artist when it comes to making these desserts. Definitely a must in any Trengganu weddings and most east coast weddings. I do have regrets for not learning to do these incredibly sweet desserts. My will to leave Bukit Sekilau was so strong....nothing else matters.
I remember Arwah Mmok on the pangkin with the akok mixture, giving instructions on what to do so the fire is just right for the akok. She would tell me I have to learn to get the fire right or the akok will turn out bad, girls must know how to do it, it is a skill need to be learnt, just imagine what would become of me if do not do well in the kitchen and so on. I do miss her babbling...
This recipe I have kept for quite sometime and have tried only once way back when there was only me (cannot remember when). Not bad for a first try.
Ingredients
10 pcs of gula melaka - slice it thinly (the standard small size, about a kilo)
7 duck eggs
5 pieces of pandan leaves (or less)
2 cups of coconut milk (from 2 coconut)
1 teaspoon of salt
200gm flour
Method
There is 2 method to make akok
1. Mix the gula melaka with the telur
2. Beat it until kembang
3. Put the daun pandan in (small pieces)
4. Mix in the santan and garam
5. Mix in the flour, make sure there is no lumps
6. Rest the mixture for about 15 to 20 minutes
7. Sieve the mixture, it has to be very fine and with no bubbles.
8. I just place the akok mould in the oven at 200deg C - between 10 to 15 minutes. Kalau nak best of course you need the arang and sabut kelapa...
Cik Mek Molek
This kueh is probably the first Trengganu kueh I learn to make....strangely enough I never make anymore although I love to eat it. I remember on many occasion when Mok and/or Ayyong made this kueh, I would be there waiting, observing, waiting, observing and grabbing the first three or four pieces for myself. Place it in a plastic plate and running up to my room (well, OUR room....Ayyong, my brother Din and me).
I can hear Mok shouting top of her lungs "jangang makang dalang bilik tu, nati semmuut. Kueh panaah lagi...blah blah". I'll be sitting down on the bed with hard home made cotton mattress, facing the pomegranate tree with a Nancy Drew book on my left hand. Burnt my tongue so many times, spill the sugar filling on my books and on the mattress and on my good dresses (which I do not have many!). I'd get some good smacking from Mok but I do still feel it was worth it.
I cannot remember when I first made it but definitely not in my own home in Bukit Sekilau. It is made with ubi keledek (white ones are the best), flour, sugar and some salt. I remembered making the kueh using sweet potato...what a disaster. Here's my basic recipe...it depends a lot on the texture and how long you cook the ubi keledek...so use your instinct ;-) You don't actually need this recipe once you get the hang of it!
600g ubi keledek
1/2 cwn tepung gandum
1/2 cwn gula
Sedikit garam
Minyak untuk menggoreng
1.Clean the ubi and rebus with some garam until it's very soft.
2. Cool the ubi and then mash it.
3. Mix it with the flour thoroughly. It should not be mushy.
4. Make the mixture into an oval and place the sugar inside (I usually put about a teaspoon) and then close it properly. The shape should be as per attached picture. The shape will remain the same after frying
5. Deep fry until golden in color. if the kueh is not done properly, the sugar will start to ooze out during frying...not good!
I think in some states like Kedah, it has a different name and filling. Some has curry meat filling which I do not favour so much.
Credit: the picture is from resipi.net if I am not mistaken.
Bronok
This note was originally written in Facebook on Friday, November 20, 2009 at 12:25am
Another dessert mentioned in the book by Awang Goneng. I remember stuffing my face with this when I was small. Ayyong buaat sokmo. Again, I do not know how to make this.
I can only remember reading in my room...reading over and over again my Famous Five books. My name will be called, tea with bronok is ready. I never get any big pieces, my brother did. He always get the best, the most, the biggest etc all the time.
Bronok is sweet and salty, always pink in colour with incredibly soft texture. I love the coconut - that's where the saltiness came from.
I miss the kitchen experience with Ayyong and Mok :-(
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Still reading "Growing Up in Trengganu"...
Originally written in Facebook - Thursday, November 19, 2009 at 12:09am
A really good book. I still have yet to finish it but itching to comment on it. So many memories of my life with Mmok (my grandma) and Ayyong. It is Trengganuland at its best....ask Nurul Asyikin and her elder sister Nurul Hidayah. Her mom was our neighbour whom I have forever known as Abbangku Yah (the 2 b's is on purpose to stress the Trengganu speak).
No conversation comes out from Mmok and Ayyong or Abbangku Yah other than in Trengganu speak. I have retaliate from Trengganu speak as long as I could remember. Not born in Trengganu so I constantly ignored it. Maybe even think of it lowly at some point of my turbulent teenage life.
Awang Goneng described his Mom so well that I could see both Mmok and Ayyong ... popping out of the pages of his book. The crystallized jelly brought back the days when Mmok make them too. Searching for the best warm sun to dry the jellies.
I actually stopped reading when the first "akok" (kuih akok - sweet dessert) word was used. My grandma sells akok in my neighborhood in Bukit Sekilau. I hate helping her....slaving over the burning of coconut husks, tears running on my cheeks, secretly planning a get away when I get older as I blew the flickers of fire on the husks. I pretended to hate akok in my teens.
I have to finish reading the book....it is slow as it brings too many memories of my Trengganu family!!
My Father, My Hero
originally written in Facebook - Thursday, July 30, 2009 at 2:40am
My father passed away on 31st July 1979, 7th Ramadhan.
Keratan Utusan Malaysia
Kuantan 1 Ogos, 1979
Seorang detektif, Ahmad Bin Rasol ditembak mati oleh salah seorang dari empat orang perompak yang bersenjatakan pistol dan bertopeng dalam satu cubaan merompak di sebuah bangunan kedai, Jalan Teluk Sisek di sini tengah malam tadi.
Konstabel Ahmad, 30, dari ibu pejabat CID disini mati serta merta akibat terkena tembakan di pelipis kirinya.
Bagaimanapun, adalah dipercayai ia berjaya mencederakan salah seorang dari perompak itu dan gerakan mengesannya sedang diteruskan.
Polis sehingga ini telah memberkas dan menahan seorang lelaki berumur dalam lingkungan 20 tahun yang disyaki terlibat dalam kejadian itu di Jalan Bukit Ubi di sini awal pagi ini.
Sebuah kereta jenis Alfa Romeo berwarna merah telah ditahan bersama lelaki yang disyaki itu.
Kereta tersebut terdapat kesan-kesan darah yang dipercayai dari kecederaan yang dialami oleh salah seorang perompak itu akibat tembakan Ahmad Rasol.Lelaki itu juga dipercayai sebagai pemandu kereta tersebut.
Ketua Siasatan Jenayah Pahang, Penguasa F. David memberitahu hari ini Konstabel Ahmad sedang menjalankan tugas biasa bila ia ternampak empat orang lelaki - tiga daripadanya bertopeng - menyerbu ke tingkat pertama sebuah bangunan kedai dan mengugut sembilan hingga sepuluh orang yang berada disitu.
Perompak-perompak itu memberi amaran kepada orang ramai supaya jangan bising sambil memberitahu "ini adalah rompakan".
Konstabel Ahmad cuba bertindak untuk mematahkan cubaan rompakan itu dengan mengeluarkan pistolnya. Salah seorang dari perompak melepaskan tempbakan kepada Konstabel Ahmad dan mengenai pelipis kirinya.
Ia rebah disitu, tetapi sempat melepaskan satu das tembakan kepada perompak-perompak itu dan mencederakan seorang darinya.
Ketua Polis Pahang, Datuk Ghazali Abu Bakar, Penguasa David dan OCPD Kuantan, Encik Tahir Sijan berkejar ketempat kejadian itu dan mengarahkan penyiasatan.
Penguasa David percaya tiga dari perompak itu adalah orang tempatan dan seorang lagi dari luar Pahang.
Polis telah meminta kerjasama doktor-doktor persendirian dan singseh Cina menyampaikan segera maklumat sekiranya mereka didatangi oleh seorang lelaki yang terkena tembakan untuk mendapatkan rawatan.
Sementara itulewat petang ini polis Kuantan menahan 5 orang lelaki berhubung dengan kejadian mati seorang mata-mata gelap itu.
Tangkapan itu dilakukan dalam beberapa serbuan mengejut yang diatur sejak awal pagi.
Sementara itu jenazah Allahyarham Ahmad Bin Rasol selamat dikebumikan dengan penuh kehormatan polis disini petang ini.
Although the story above does not do justice to what actually happen due to confidentiality issues, Abah was the bravest man I know, the most loving man I know.
Abah was a brave, stern, strict and courageous man in the eyes of others....
Abah was just a Big Teddy Bear to me..the only one who hugs me...gives me comfort and security...
Abah was buried beside Mama...for once my Stepmom listen to his request...the only time she ever listen...and fought for what Abah wants.
Alfatihah to...
Abah - Ahmad Bin Rasol,
Mama - Rabiah Bt Hussein
and my Stepmom - Saripah
...Miss You, Abah...
What does porcupine meat taste like?
Bukit Sekilau is my kampung. The Shining Hill. I was told that it was named from the fishes found in the small river while they were clearing up the land.
Growing up, there were many encounters with strange animals as my grandmother's house was so near to the thick jungle of Bukit Sekilau. These encounters were possible because of my step grandfather. I called him Ayoh (Father). I'll blog separately on why I called him that.
Ayoh was an adventurer…(I got the adventurous bug from him, maybe?). He would venture into the jungle and came back carrying a big log on his shoulder 3 or even 4 times his size. I kid you not. I remembered being asked whether he "bela hantu" (rearing ghosts). That's another blog post…Occasionally he would set up a trap and we would be able to see strange looking animals the next morning. Musang (fox) and landak (porcupine) would be most commonly seen. I remember Ayoh proudly standing beside his trap with a very slight smile.
I was never allowed to witness the sembelih process. I am, in a way, thankful for that. The one thing I always get though, is the porcupine quills or duri or spine. I kept it to use as a pointer during mengaji Al-Quran (reciting Al-Quran). There were thin, short and very soft porcupine quills and there are some which are as long as my Al-Quran. They are really sharp and I had to snip the tip just to be safe.
At lunch there's a special dish of course - porcupine meat. Strangely enough, this is the part I could not recall. What dish did my grandmother cook? How could I ever recall the taste of the porcupine meat if I cannot remember the dish?
I hope someone out there can tell m the taste of porcupine meat…I sincerely hope the answer is not "it taste like chicken"!!
Update: In 1972, Landak was registered as an endangered species. Today it is not under any threat of extinction. As a matter of fact, in Malaysia, the Jabatan Haiwan (Veterinary Department) has a program to rear landak commercially (specifically in Perak circa 2005). There'll be enough landak meat for everyone!!
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Growing up, there were many encounters with strange animals as my grandmother's house was so near to the thick jungle of Bukit Sekilau. These encounters were possible because of my step grandfather. I called him Ayoh (Father). I'll blog separately on why I called him that.
Ayoh was an adventurer…(I got the adventurous bug from him, maybe?). He would venture into the jungle and came back carrying a big log on his shoulder 3 or even 4 times his size. I kid you not. I remembered being asked whether he "bela hantu" (rearing ghosts). That's another blog post…Occasionally he would set up a trap and we would be able to see strange looking animals the next morning. Musang (fox) and landak (porcupine) would be most commonly seen. I remember Ayoh proudly standing beside his trap with a very slight smile.
I was never allowed to witness the sembelih process. I am, in a way, thankful for that. The one thing I always get though, is the porcupine quills or duri or spine. I kept it to use as a pointer during mengaji Al-Quran (reciting Al-Quran). There were thin, short and very soft porcupine quills and there are some which are as long as my Al-Quran. They are really sharp and I had to snip the tip just to be safe.
At lunch there's a special dish of course - porcupine meat. Strangely enough, this is the part I could not recall. What dish did my grandmother cook? How could I ever recall the taste of the porcupine meat if I cannot remember the dish?
I hope someone out there can tell m the taste of porcupine meat…I sincerely hope the answer is not "it taste like chicken"!!
Update: In 1972, Landak was registered as an endangered species. Today it is not under any threat of extinction. As a matter of fact, in Malaysia, the Jabatan Haiwan (Veterinary Department) has a program to rear landak commercially (specifically in Perak circa 2005). There'll be enough landak meat for everyone!!
null
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Learn Something New, Discover Something New
I am currently writing my blog in the Microsoft Office OneNote on my shiny Compaq Presario CQ35. Why do I write all these? It sounds intelligent. It is cool. I could update all my recipes, properly filed, colored and automatically saved. No worries.
And I discovered it could also store my ramblings and I could actually update my blog from my OneNote to the blog site. How cool is that? Very cool indeed. No big deal for you? It is an achievement for me today!!
Many of us are comfortable in the "comfort" zone. Same daily routine, same group of friends, drive the same 20 year old car, wear the same style clothes, have the same hairstyle since high school, wear the same tudung style and nothing out of place or the ordinary. No worries, no surprises, no hassle….just a simple monotonous life. Many of us do not feel comfortable venturing into the unknown, the new and the "out of place" ventures.
I am not that someone.
Me being adventurous is solely driven by my yearning to be away from my family. You will read this again and again in my post (I am predicting the future posting trend). Why the yearning to be away? Well I have only posted 3 ramblings…be patient.
How adventurous you may wonder? I have been on a roller coaster ride even though I am not medically fit to actually do it. At the age where I could make a good decision because I have a more matured and experienced brain, I decided I'll just take the normal roller coaster ride and the floorless roller coaster. I have a neck problem - specifically between my C5, C6 and C7 neck bones. I do believe the "adventurous" part of my brain just took over. A lovely present waits after - therapy, nausea and a long sick leave. Would I do it again? Just make sure I am not in the visual distance of a roller coaster…I have been to Berjaya Times Square twice and it is tempting to get on that ride.
I have also skied down the expert slope after one lesson on how to ski. I reached the bottom safely with strategically torn pants (and I mean really strategically). You can include stupidity on top of adventurous. But the whole experience was worth it - worth the torn pants humiliation and walking like something was in between my crotch for a week. I thought the whole population of New Brunswick was whispering "torn pants" for weeks.
I never did ski ever again….so much for being adventurous.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Carpe Diem
Quoted from Wikipedia:
Original usage from Odes 1.11, in English by poet Horace:
"Don't ask (it's forbidden to know) what end
the gods will grant to me or you, Leuconoe. Don't play with Babylonian
fortune-telling either. It is better to endure whatever will be.
Whether Jupiter has allotted to you many more winters or this final one
which even now wears out the Tyrrhenian sea on the rocks placed opposite
be wise, drink your wine, and scale back your long hopes
to a short period. While we speak, envious time will have {already} fled
Seize the day, trusting as little as possible in the next."
In life I have learned that everyday is different in its own way. You really do not know the future. Will you meet up with winter, spring, summer or autumn again? Will there still be a monsoon? Will there be another birthday to celebrate, another child for "khatan" ceremony? Will i get to attend my daughter's wedding?
"Scale back your long hopes to a short period"
I do believe in making the day the best you could. You decide on what you want your day to be - colourful or grey. Seize it, make it yours. make it a day to remember!
When I was younger in a use-to-be small town Kuantan, I believe my whole existence was to get out and be free. Not of the town but of my family. I never see day to day, I see 10 years ahead. Constantly visualizing the life I will have. I believe deeply now that I have suppressed many incredible, beautiful, touching and wonderful memories locked in my brain somewhere.
I am now more convinced that if I try hard enough, there were happiness in my life despite remembering crytally clear all my awful, sad and full of anger memories. The more positive memories has been triggered this past year through reading books which are near to my heart and the way I was brought up. Triggered by long lost friends from my school days.
I should have seize the day then, I would have been able to tell wonderful stories from my childhood. I cannot remember a big chunk of my childhood. It is like a big jigsaw puzzle that's never coming together unless I find the missing pieces.
Is your life a jigsaw puzzle too? How did I get here with the missing pieces? I'm still searching for those pieces while making sure carpe diem is part of me daily.
Notes:
"khatan" - circumcision ceremony
Original usage from Odes 1.11, in English by poet Horace:
"Don't ask (it's forbidden to know) what end
the gods will grant to me or you, Leuconoe. Don't play with Babylonian
fortune-telling either. It is better to endure whatever will be.
Whether Jupiter has allotted to you many more winters or this final one
which even now wears out the Tyrrhenian sea on the rocks placed opposite
be wise, drink your wine, and scale back your long hopes
to a short period. While we speak, envious time will have {already} fled
Seize the day, trusting as little as possible in the next."
In life I have learned that everyday is different in its own way. You really do not know the future. Will you meet up with winter, spring, summer or autumn again? Will there still be a monsoon? Will there be another birthday to celebrate, another child for "khatan" ceremony? Will i get to attend my daughter's wedding?
"Scale back your long hopes to a short period"
I do believe in making the day the best you could. You decide on what you want your day to be - colourful or grey. Seize it, make it yours. make it a day to remember!
When I was younger in a use-to-be small town Kuantan, I believe my whole existence was to get out and be free. Not of the town but of my family. I never see day to day, I see 10 years ahead. Constantly visualizing the life I will have. I believe deeply now that I have suppressed many incredible, beautiful, touching and wonderful memories locked in my brain somewhere.
I am now more convinced that if I try hard enough, there were happiness in my life despite remembering crytally clear all my awful, sad and full of anger memories. The more positive memories has been triggered this past year through reading books which are near to my heart and the way I was brought up. Triggered by long lost friends from my school days.
I should have seize the day then, I would have been able to tell wonderful stories from my childhood. I cannot remember a big chunk of my childhood. It is like a big jigsaw puzzle that's never coming together unless I find the missing pieces.
Is your life a jigsaw puzzle too? How did I get here with the missing pieces? I'm still searching for those pieces while making sure carpe diem is part of me daily.
Notes:
"khatan" - circumcision ceremony
So they say...
They say I should have a blog. Well, I decided that I would
"Carpe diem quam minimum credula postero"
"Seize the day, trusting as little as possible in the future".
So here I am blogging my first post to my so-called first blog Que Sera Sera - whatever will be will be. Thanks to my MGSS clan '83 for the encouragement and trust. Thanks to Turtle Mariah who has a vision of a book when I start rambling even if it just about an old recipe with memories attached. Thanks to Taylorians '85.....
Let's see how long this will last and whether there is such a thing as running out of memory or bloggers' block!!
Seize the day...bring it on!!
"Carpe diem quam minimum credula postero"
"Seize the day, trusting as little as possible in the future".
So here I am blogging my first post to my so-called first blog Que Sera Sera - whatever will be will be. Thanks to my MGSS clan '83 for the encouragement and trust. Thanks to Turtle Mariah who has a vision of a book when I start rambling even if it just about an old recipe with memories attached. Thanks to Taylorians '85.....
Let's see how long this will last and whether there is such a thing as running out of memory or bloggers' block!!
Seize the day...bring it on!!
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